My Sanctuary, My Kitchen

According to Webster, a sanctuary can be defined as "a place of refuge and protection." As I think back on the last few years, I'm absolutely certain that my sanctuary has been (and continues to be) my kitchen.

Unfortunately, my teeny-tiny kitchen was ill-designed from the get-go. A washer and dryer serve as my only open counter space. I have two working drawers that, when opened, are blocked by the refrigerator. Speaking of the refrigerator -- it came with NO crisper drawers, no organization theme, no ice maker and is on its last leg. There's no hood for the stove and quite frankly, that's probably a good thing, just in case the entire thing decides to lift off. And it's imperative to know that when more than two appliances are going at the same time, the circuit will absolutely blow.

For years, I had a hard time finding confidence – both in my abilities as a cook and in my kitchen's ability to be effective tool for anything other than a Lean Cuisine. Little did I know what this little kitchen "that could" would teach me years later.

My love for food was reawakened when I got a job at Cooking Light magazine. Though settled on the business side of things, my editorial leanings kept me toeing the line of church and state -- volunteering to sit in on taste tests, surrounding myself with amazing editors and test kitchen professionals. I also researched all of our competitors and fell head over heels in love with Gourmet, Saveur, and Cooks Illustrated. I was beginning to learn that my love for food didn't have to begin and end at the supper table.Right here in my little ol' dinky kitchen, I began to make Barefoot Contessa masterpieces...

In fact, I would soon learn that my supper table would be completely transformed thanks to my star-crossed affection for Ina Garten (aka Barefoot Contessa). Once I found her show on the Food Network, the world began to smell and taste different. No longer would I be impressed by anything that wouldn't meet her standards. Thus began my realization that I was going to have to do the darn dishes myself. Right here in my little ol' dinky kitchen, I began to make Barefoot Contessa masterpieces – dinners that could truly be served at any good restaurant. As I began to embrace all of this culinary knowledge, I also began to embrace my crazy-ass kitchen.

So, it was perfect that I met Mike (now my husband) right around the time I began to discover my passion for food. Every day of our courting phase was spent talking, sipping wine, and cooking in my shoebox of a kitchen. He'd sit across the bar while I chopped and sautéed vegetables. He'd read out the ingredient list while I gathered my mise en place. Just like a complex sauce, we began to form a really solid foundation, layering it night after night as we learned new stories about one another... or found solutions to the pizza dough that would never come out just right. And if I suggested going anywhere else, he'd simply say, "No chef in this town can compare to what I have right here in this kitchen." Thus was created the recipe to the rest of our relationship.

Look, if you worked in MAGAZINE advertising between 2007 and 2008, let's just say, it's no wonder if you found absolute delight in a bottle of wine and chopping the devil out of an onion every night.My kitchen also served as a great refuge from a really crappy economy that seemed to chase me all day long. Look, if you worked in MAGAZINE advertising between 2007 and 2008, let's just say, it's no wonder if you found absolute delight in a bottle of wine and chopping the devil out of an onion every night. When you are focusing on ingredient lists and measurements and process, you tend to avoid ruminating over that morning's proposal or the news you didn't get the account you worked on all year or... that your entire company was about to implode. Seriously implode. You could chop, simmer, and stew instead of bite your nails, cry, and work overtime.

And then it happened: what I thought was the foodie dream – my food magazine job -- came screeching to a halt in December '08 when my entire department was laid off. In the three remaining weeks of my job, I had to reconcile that I wouldn't be traveling the country meeting readers, that I wouldn't get to sit at the test kitchen table with my friends, that I'd have to find a way to recycle and shred work I poured my heart and soul into. I'd have to wrap my head around the fact that I don't have a job. I'd never not had a job.

Ever!

You can guess right where I headed next...

With severance checks coming in, I decided to take some well-deserved time off. Mike created a website for me and my friend called Food Revival. Its mission? To be an all-local resource for Alabama folks looking for produce information, recipes, and the like. Little did I know that it would soon become the catalyst to show the world my personal sanctuary. I began pouring my passion into the site -- creating recipes all day and then posting the results. I became a food stylist, a taste tester, a recipe developer, and TV host of my own Food Revival show. I filmed myself in my pajamas (messy hair and all) with my handy flip video positioned on top of my dryer. I began highlighting the veggies in my Jones Valley Urban Farm CSA box and showing ways to use them. I was cooking and writing all day long and it was oh-so-good for my soul. It was the only certain place I could be during a very uncertain time. When I felt trapped and unsure where this laid-off life would take me and my confidence began to wane, I would jump into the kitchen to once again find my real self.

I've learned many things over the last year of exploring, cooking and following my passion, but I'd like to think that my crazy-ass kitchen deserves a lot of the credit. Because of all of my kitchen's flaws and challenges, I have found ways to be resourceful. I have found a way to do something with what I already had. I have found a way to make something really beautiful and delicious out of something meager. Little did I know this whole experience would equip me to follow my own dream and find the perfect place to land.

My kitchen is more than just my sanctuary. It is one of my closest friends.